"If Not Me, Then Who?": The Swedish Volunteer Who Gave His Life for Ukraine

Jul 03, 2026 16:33 Updated Jul 03, 2026 16:45

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Jess Daly

Reporter

‘If not me, then who?’ This was the life motto of 28-year-old Edvard Selander Patrignani, a Swedish volunteer who was killed in Ukraine in July 2022. Edvard, alongside Americans Luke Lucyszyn and Bryan Young and Canadian volunteer Emile-Antoine Roy-Sirois, died in an ambush after their position came under fire from a Russian tank. Edvard was the first Swedish citizen to lose his life in Russia’s war of aggression in Ukraine. 

“When Edvard was hit, there were a lot of shells incoming,” Marco, Edvard's father, recalled. “He told everybody to lie down; he had to help Luke because Luke was wounded; his arm was gone.” Russians shot Edvard while he was helping Luke.

Another Swedish volunteer, Tobias, survived the attack and later told Edvard’s parents what had happened. He remains in close contact with Britta, his mother, and Marco, his father, to this day. 

Edvard Selander’s story 

Passionate about politics from a very early age, Edvard had a very sharp sense of humor and, as his parents affectionately remember, could also be a little stubborn at times. Much of the history they know has been passed down by their son, who spent countless hours reading and learning from a young age. 

When Russia invaded Georgia in 2008, 14-year-old Edvard insisted Europe was making a grave mistake by not stopping Russian aggression. 

“We joked sometimes because he was a small boy, but also like an old man; it was kind of cute,” Britta smiled. “He had a strong moral compass,” Marco added, both laughing through tears as they remembered their son. 

Edvard was a gentle man with strong ethics. From the age of 13 or 14, he had already immersed himself in learning Chinese. At that time, he dreamed of becoming a diplomat and dedicated himself to mastering the language, studying week after week. He later studied economics at university before beginning a military career that eventually took him to the world’s oldest military academy called Karlberg, where he served as a lieutenant, training young recruits at an air base in Sweden. 

He loved his work. Sunday evenings were something he looked forward to because they meant Monday was coming, and he could return to the job he cared so deeply about. 

His parents vividly remember the evening Edvard told them he had decided to go to Ukraine; it was March 20, 2022, while the family sat together over dinner.

When there's a fire at your neighbors', one offers assistance.

Edvard Selander

“We tried to talk him out of it and realized that it wasn't possible,” Britta and Marco said. “He didn't ask what we thought about it or for our permission, and that was the person he was,” 

His friends also tried to persuade him to stay, but he was steadfast in his choice.

“Marco said, 'Don't go to Ukraine. If you stay home, I will take all the money that I have and send it to Ukraine’. Edvard’s reply? ‘That's a very good idea. You do that, and I'll go to Ukraine.”

Britta paused before quietly adding, “There was no convincing him.”

A mother’s final embrace 

Marco remembers asking his son what would happen if he were shot. 

“He just looked at me and said, ‘You know, the weapons are so good that you won’t notice; you just die.’ That's exactly what happened with him. He was alive and then gone.”

One Saturday in April, it was time to say goodbye before he headed out to support Ukraine. They hugged. They cried. Unable to bear the pain any longer, Marco went upstairs to bed. Britta walked Edvard to the door and closed it behind him. She swung it open again, and ran after him, wrapping her arms around his neck one last time.

“I remember the feeling of his body,” Britta said, wiping away the tears. “I remember that I put my nose on his neck, and I tried to smell him. It’s going to be okay, Mom, it’s going to be okay.”

“Everybody was asking him, why are you going? You don't have to go to Ukraine. And his answer was, if not me, then who? That's on his gravestone. That's really something I think we can take with us”, Marco explained.

Just weeks after arriving in Ukraine, Edvards Ukrainian commander was struck by shrapnel that pierced his neck beneath his ballistic vest.

With no way to treat him on location, Edvard lifted and carried his commander on his back for two kilometers in a bid to save his life, unfortunately, the commanders life could not be saved.

Edvard was awarded Ukraine's Medal of Honor posthumously on 24th August, 2023.

“For Edvard, there was no limit to helping someone,” Marco said.

In the days before Russian forces took Edvard and his teammates' lives, the Selander family sensed something was wrong. He was due to rotate out, yet days passed without a message. They couldn't explain it, but both Britta and Marco had a growing sense of dread.

Then came the call. Edvard had fallen in battle. It took three weeks for his body to be returned to Sweden. Being able to lay their son to rest brought the family some sort of peace. 

Alongside his belongings arrived a velvet box and a letter from Ukraine’s President Zelenskyy. While the gesture meant the world to them, it also marked the finality of their loss. 

Just 3 months after holding their son for the last time, they were holding the memory of him. Marco recalls that he looked at Britta, "This is all we have,” he said at the time. "It's very depressing," he told us quietly, wiping away tears.

Even in grief, their thoughts turn to Ukraine?

Even through their own grief, Britta often turned the conversation back to Ukraine. "We got his body to Sweden; we got to bury him," she said. "But there are a lot of families who don’t know if their son is alive or captured in Russia somewhere."

Although they have every reason to mourn the loss of their son, Britta was adamant not to let their pain overshadow that of Ukrainian families who continue living through the war every day.

"We're sitting here in Sweden, peaceful Sweden, there's no war going on. And we're talking about our loss, we realize that this is our destiny, or our experience is, we're not alone in this, and we share this with too many Ukrainian families also having to cope with a war going on."

The humility of the Selander family is incredibly striking. After speaking with countless families devastated by war, I cannot remember the last time I struggled to hold back tears during an interview. Throughout this interview, I was fighting to stay composed.

Edvard's spirit is unmistakably living through his parents; his fight for freedom and democracy lives on through them. Though he is no longer here in body, the ideals he died defending continue to shape the lives of those who love him. 

When asked how they live with the grief, they were very honest. "We don't manage," they told me. "We can love, and we can have beautiful moments. But in every beautiful moment, there is a great sadness that Edvard isn't with us," Britta said softly.

Edvard's passing left a hole in the lives of Britta, Marco, and his sister, Elsa. They support one another, but they all carry their grief differently.

"We're in our own bubble," Marco explained. "Even though we have each other, at the end of the day, you're alone with your grief."

What carries them forward is the love of family, friends, and even the Ukrainian diaspora in Sweden. 

Before leaving for Ukraine, Edvard prepared three letters. One was addressed to his family and friends, another contained a lock of his hair, in case his body could not be identified, and the third contained instructions for his funeral.

A devout Catholic, Edvard's funeral filled the church beyond capacity. People traveled from across Sweden to pay their respects, with mourners spilling out of the building.

"Everyone we've met in Sweden, all from the ambassadors and all the staff at the embassy, and just ordinary Ukrainian people in Sweden, we feel a very strong appreciation and warmth. So even though we have this pain, we feel a strong connection and love from the people around us. He was fighting for freedom and democracy, and that was the reason we started the Edvard Selander Foundation."

Edvard’s legacy, fighting for freedom and democracy

The Edvard Selander Memorial Fund, established on 14 February 2023 in Uppsala, a city just north of Stockholm, aims to support selfless initiatives dedicated to the defense of freedom and democracy and provides financial assistance to individuals whose practical activities reflect these values.

Today, Marco and Britta, alongside two of Edvard's closest friends, Sten and Folke, who serve on the foundation's board, continue his work by supporting Ukraine. 

Each year, before Christmas, they present a scholarship at the Ukrainian Embassy in Stockholm. "We give it to someone who is working for the same sake and reason as Edvard, for freedom and democracy."

"We want to make him proud of us and how we're continuing his important work and fighting for what he believed in. Edvard was not the kind of person who wanted to be in the center; everything he did was for a purpose," Britta explained.

Many memorial funds keep the focus on the person they remember, but the Edvard Selander Memorial Fund focuses on helping others, true to who Edvard was. The scholarship has previously supported those continuing Edvard’s mission. In 2025, it was awarded to Bernard Christensen, co-founder of the Swedish humanitarian organization Operation Change. Earlier recipients include Serhii Shomashenko in 2023 for humanitarian demining training in Ukraine, and Tilde Addenbrooke in 2024 for organizing Swedish-Ukrainian combat medical training near the front line. 

When the war in Ukraine is finally over, and Ukraine has victory, Britta and Marco hope to return and place a stone where Edvard was killed. "It's a dream of ours," Marco said.

They have promised their daughter, Elsa, that they will not return while the war is ongoing. Until that day comes, they will continue doing everything they can to support the people of Ukraine.

For them, the memorial fund has become more than a way to honor Edvard's memory; it’s a way of survival.  "We say in Sweden, we will continue to stand behind Ukraine and support Ukraine for as long as it takes. That is what we intend to do with this memorial fund. Hopefully, in the future, we will also be able to focus on other countries and other people."